Friday, January 16, 2009

Lithuanian Debtors Face Voodoo

In Vilnius, Lithuania the new debt collector is an unconventional candidate named Vilija Lobaciuviene, who practices witchcraft.

If you happen to live in Lithuania and owe back taxes or other debts, there is a voodoo doll at the local town hall with your name on it.

"There are certain people, who are using this crisis situation and refuse to pay back banks or other companies," said Amantas Celkonas, director of the Skolu Isieskojimo Biuras, Lithuania’s debt collecting bureau.

"Our new employee will help them to understand the situation, reconsider what is right and wrong and act accordingly," he said. "We will also help those who are in real trouble, suffering from psychological impact of bankruptcy and depression."

Lobaciuviene, is well known as "Lithuania's leading witch." She is famous for being able to predict the future and cast spells. She uses hypnosis, herbal medicines, and bio-energy, to collect debt.

This is a good reason not to leave any hairs or drops of DNA rich beads of sweat behind, if you get called in to explain a debt. It is my understanding that a witch can conger up a double whammy faster than you can squeeze out an unexpected fart, by using only a single follicle.

Local critics believe that the government has returned to ancient superstitions and are kidding themselves, if they think that hiring a witch will solve their problems.

"This is return to the Dark Ages. If they really believe that this woman may help someone get money back, then there's something very wrong with this country," said newspaper columnist Monika Bonckute.

News Source

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