Friday, December 26, 2008

Mysterious Frosty on Steroids

His name is Snowzilla and he mysteriously appeared out of nowhere in the suburbs of Anchorage, Alaska. This 25 foot Frosty has definitely been on anabolic steroids and is causing an otherwise quiet community to experience an unusual amount of traffic and rubber neckers. He picked Billy Powers’ front yard to sit in, ignoring all of the city’s cease-and-desist orders.

In past years, a giant holiday snowman was built by the Powers family, but the community put up such a fuss, fearing that he would lose his head and cause an accident, that the family decided not to build him this year. Instead, somehow, in the middle of the night, a normal 5 foot snowman that was already in the front yard took steroids and grew into this 25 foot giant.

Other theories surfaced that a group of locals, who were drinking holiday moonshine decided to get even with the neighbors and used a quiet fork lift to build him after the bars closed; or that Jack LaLaine went up there and fed the thing some carrot juice.

Anyway, because of the magic under his silk hat, Snowzilla was protected from being hosed down by the fire department when a local ambulance chaser and the Civil Liberties Union came to his defense, just in time.

Today, Snowzilla, just sits there in the Powers' front yard with a “Make my Day” sign positioned right under the City's red injunction stickers.

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