Election Day 2008 - Dirty Tricks and "No Pok!"

You know the guys, who used to call the local grocery store and ask if they had Prince Albert in a can? Well, most of them grew up to be Crank Yankers, Fonejackers, one of The Jerky Boys, or dirty politicians.

Unlike Bart Simpson calling Moe’s Tavern asking for Jacques Strappe, during the few hours we have left before the elections, we have Strappe’s whole family deluging potential voters with dirty tricks, including confusing e-mails, prank phone calls, and threatening fliers delivered in the middle of the night to entire inner city neighborhoods.

The ACLU is conducting damage control. They say if you really need to pull a prank “keep it to ‘No POK, er PORK!”

"The Voting Rights Act makes it a crime to mislead and intimidate voters," said Laughlin McDonald, who leads the ACLU's Voting Rights Project, "If you can find out who's doing it, those people should be prosecuted.

OK, but who’s going to write up (in Philadelphia, they call it a "48") Haywood Jaspankmee, when he gets caught delivering flyers in the high-crime areas of the city telling people not to show up at the polls if they have any unpaid parking tickets or a past criminal record because if they do, they'll get arrested at the door?

In some areas, flyers are informing people that Republicans are voting on Tuesday and Democrats on Wednesday. You can tell which camp this is coming from, right?

Now, some might argue that the ACLU is insulting the intelligence of the average voter by making a big deal out of this, but it believes that there are whole communities out there with a collective IQ lower than the speed limit.

As of this writing, Sarah Palin is campaigning at all the Bloomingdale’s locations in CA, NV, MN, IL, NY, MA, PA, NJ, MD, VA, GA, and FL. The last thing she did before the polls opened was charge a LL Collezione Women's Cashmere Long Reefer for $995.00 to the campaign. It was cold in South Philly last night, so she went to the Bloomingdale’s at the Willow Grove Mall.

Joe Biden was munching on some bipartisan cupcakes like radio host Matt Cord’s dog on a bone. The cakes were from the Flying Monkey at the Reading Terminal Market. He was also invited to watch the election results with the Phillies Phanatic over at the Philadelphia Tap Room at 15th and Mifflin Sts. The Phanatic was practicing his "Rocky" number for the event. It was not clear, who was being set up for the punch. Rumor has it that it will be either White House Press Secretary, Dana Perino, or Matt Cord's dog.

Seriously, EVERYBODY, get out and vote Tuesday, November 4th, 2008, for the candidate of your choice.