Saving California – Tax Cannabis Act 2010

The State of California will put its "Tax Cannabis Act 2010" on the November ballot. It has posted numerous reasons on its official website. Most importantly, “California’s laws criminalizing cannabis (marijuana) have failed and need to be reformed. Despite spending decades arresting millions of non-violent cannabis consumers, we have failed to control cannabis or reduce its availability.”

In lay terms, “Cannabis is a $36 billion market. We’re almost bankrupt, so we might as well give the people what they want, while we cash in and tax and control the product.”

How this will affect the U.S. Rasta, or Rastafari Movement is another issue for debate.

Rastifarians are a strict religious sect that only accepts Haile Selassie I, the former Emperor of Ethiopia as “Jah” (God). It uses cannabis in many of its religious ceremonies and has a large following in California, where members hold religious ceremonies on Hollywood Boulevard, in LA.

Rastifarians are not political. Many of them can’t stand long enough to go to the polls. Ras Sam Brown, of Jamaica was the first Rasifarian in history to run for political office in 1961. He formed the Suffering People’s Party and only received 100 votes.

I think Billy Bob Thornton made a movie about a similar character. You know the one; he would assume a prone position out on the tarmac as jumbo jets were taking off, so that he could sail with the draft.

The group fears a drop in membership once the Tax Cannabis Act passes.

Recently, there have been international crack-downs on cannabis coffee shops in the Netherlands, as rich Californians, who were not Rastafari, had been taking regular vacations there to take advantage of the relaxed cannabis laws. Now that the State is going bankrupt, many are no longer financially able to make the constant trips and have lobbied for change. They don’t accept I.O.U.s in Denmark.

Will the Tax Cannabis Act pass?

An overwhelming majority of Californians say “yes,” as they were getting fed-up with the folks in Denmark, who used to rub it in every time they saw Americans visiting their country and even put a video up on YouTube to torment them.

Folks near Joshua Tree National Park are hoping the State makes cannabis its National Tree. They will introduce a forest mascot soon.

Coffee Party Fodder: Jim Wallis, Marty Duren, and Glenn Beck Rumble!

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt" ~ Mark Twain.

Read more at CNN.com

If you are looking for some good entertainment at your Sunday afternoon Coffee Party, bring a laptop and make sure there is wireless access. This might take a few hours, but it is time well spent.

We are all familiar with Glenn Beck’s show format and animated rantings, as well as the famous chalkboard, which made a cameo appearance at CPAC; however, not many of us are familiar with Jim Wallis or Marty Duren.

Jim Wallis (pictured) is very much like Glenn Beck, except he leads the Sojourners, a network of progressive Christians. Like Beck, he is very vocal and opinionated. He has asked people to boycott Beck and challenged him to a debate. Marty Duren is a Southern Baptist minister, who took Pat Roberson to task last January, for his remarks about Haiti, in a blog column titled “Dear Pat Robertson, SHUT YOUR FREAKING MOUTH!!” and lambasted Beck in "Glenn Beck, biblical illiteracy and running."

Go to Marty’s website and check out the rants on his blog posts: http://www.martyduren.com.

See the resemblance? (The marquee out in front of Pastor Richard G. Bakker's church in NY is the Christian chalkboard).

Next, go to Glenn’s website and read his posts: http://www.glennbeck.com

There you will find topics such as “The Future of History, Glenn Beck in the Belly of the Beast," and "Glenn Hates Poor People.” Love him or hate him, we need him.

The main issue they are fighting about is whether or not Jesus was a political activist. Wallis and Duren claim that they have more work experience and insight about Jesus to preach on this topic. They strongly believe that Glenn should stick to current events and politics and leave religious topics to the experts, like them.

Glenn Beck doesn’t want to repeat history, and urges people to run away from religious groups and churches that “preach social and economic justice,” as it is a direct path to socialism.

As of this writing, no debate on this issue is scheduled between Beck, Duren, and Wallis.

On his return trip, I sure hope Jesus gets his own gig and sandscript board on JMJ Live and sets the record straight.

Don’t be surprised if these guys all end up in a fist fight over us perceived nimrods, who are too stupid to think for ourselves, and end up in a rapper tune called “Dueling Egos.”

Bishop Fulton J. Sheen was ahead of his time. I like my coffee with cream and sugar, along with some intelligent conversation, how about you?

I Blame Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman

"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." ~ Erma Bombeck.


Our society is so screwed up that former Manhattan Madam, Kristin Davis, can run for Governor of NY State; and 25 miles away in Rahway, NJ, they want to put clothes on a snow rendition of the Venus de Milo.

I kid you not. Read the news article: “New Jersey Family Asked to Cover Up Nude Snow Woman”

I knew it would come to this. I blame Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman and his talk of a porn collection for “How I Met Your Mother” - thanks a lot CBS.

I haven't been lately, do they hand out blindfolds for kids under 12 years old at art museums in NJ?

The Venus de Milo, presumably by Alexandros of Antioch, is one of the most famous works of art. This ancient Greek sculpture has been in existence since about 100 BC. She is the Goddess of love and beauty and looks a bit like Dimitris Diamantidis, if he had gynecomastia, except she's taller and can't play basketball. When Alexandros unveiled her, did the locals run to the authorities and ask that her mighty marble bosoms be covered? Did they break both of her arms, put her away in storage until the shock effect wore off, and historians never told us?

If someone on 5th Avenue in NYC had created this snow woman, she would have gained national attention and been featured on all the morning talk shows. The artist would have been interviewed by USA TODAY. Venus could have run for governor of NY on the Objectivist Party ticket. However, her sleeping habits would not be Tabloid fodder and she would not qualify to be among Frosty’s porn collection.

How can a geographical area of 25 miles make such a cultural difference?

Insiders tell me that when Rahway, NJ, police were summoned to the scene of the naked snow woman, after all the officers and the dispatcher finished laughing, they had two reports ready to be filed, depending on the propensity of the angry crowd at the crime scene:

1. The resident complied with police orders and put a bra and sarong on the naked lady.
2. The complainant is a moron, unappreciative of fine art; can we lock this guy up?

Unfortunately, Venus got clothes, while Davis got P squared on her gubernatorial platform, and 15,000 signatures of endorsement.

I would have opted for Number two. This is temporary insanity, snow melts. Fox5 News shot this video; Frosty, who was ultimately responsible for putting some people's minds in the gutter, was unavailable for comment:

‘When the Whistle Blows’ Its Prostitution and Pot in NYC

On March 1, 2010, Libertarian, Kristin Davis, announced that she is running for Governor of New York. She held a press conference at the Roosevelt Hotel in NY to throw her bra into the political arena.

The former Manhattan Madam said that her high school education, Bachelors degree (in finance), and the many years that she spent in the back of a paddy wagons have qualified her for the job.

Its P squared all the way: legalized prostitution and pot on her wedgies, I mean platform. She said the magic word “Taxed” when referring to P squared and THAT got their attention.

Why is City Hall fighting the inevitable? "These things happen on the streets of New York City anyway," she said.

She believes that controlling and taxing prostitution and pot will serve to lower real estate taxes. Real estate taxes are what caused Rush Limbaugh to put his $13.9 million penthouse apartment up for sale last week. We do not know if she got Rush’s endorsement.

Ms. Davis also supports gay marriage and freedom of choice. “Not just to raise campaign funds,” she insisted, but because she supports quality marriages.

She says that she is not part of the good ol’ boys “corrupt and dysfunctional system of NY State politics.”

Read News Article: Kristin Davis for Governor

All she needs is 15,000 signatures on her petition for Governor to join the race and get her name put on the ballot. Many of her ladies will be out on the street collecting your John Hancock.

Trojan stock prices jumped 4% yesterday to $67.45 on word of Ms. Davis’ candidacy.

Ms. Davis will be discussing her platform soon on major shows such as The O'Reilly Factor, The Glenn Beck Show, and all other important mass-media.

I can't wait to see the flak.

'Airplane!' Poland

I’m not sure if Ryanair uses a banana base coat on its scratch-off lottery tickets, but one of its passengers traveling from Poland to the U.K. ate one of them; it was worth $15,000.

Celebrations in the US have taken an economic downturn. You’ve been in one of those Chinese buffets, when its birthday time: all of a sudden the three chipmunks come over the paging system singing “appy birday too ewe! appy Birday too ewe!” and then two or three very excited servers, wearing flip-flops on a sticky floor, bring a kiwi-flavored cupcake to the table with a lighted birthday candle. The total cost of the party is under $40, beating even Rachael Ray. Wouldn’t $15,000 be nice?

Read news article: Polish guy eats $15,000

In this case, a very excited Ryanair airline crew brought the passenger a bottle of champagne and the fabulous news that he won $15,000, singing “You’re in The Money!”

The guy asked for his money.

He was told he could cash in the ticket when they landed.

The guy asked for his money and threw a temper tantrum. Apparently, he needs a crash course in anger management.

The rattled stewardess summoned the Captain.

The Captain threw on the autopilot instructing the co-pilot to take care of the dead bugs and pelican greeting on the windshield, as they were also irritating him.

The Captain told the passenger that this particular flight does not carry $15,000 in the petty cash drawer.

"We're at 37,000 feet," he said. "you can go to the lottery office when we land. Meanwhile the co-pilot needs to borrow some handi-wipes."

The passenger threatened to eat the scratch-off ticket.

One of the crew members grabbed a seat cushion and tried to bribe him with a sandwich or some pizza.

“Down Simba!”

The guy ate the ticket.

Stephen McNamara, a spokesperson for Ryanair told the media “Ryanair is now asking passengers to vote on which type of charity Ryanair should donate the $15,000 prize money.”

You can log on to the Ryanair website and vote for anger management, eating and digestive disorders, disruptive children’s, or mental health charities.

“All these charities are ready to benefit from a real meal ticket!” McNamara said. “In the last two year’s Ryanair’s scratch cards have given away 10 cars, over €300,000 in cash prizes and over 100,000 flight vouchers. Passengers have always been delighted to claim their large cash prizes after returning home. Unfortunately our latest winner felt that we should have his $15,000 prize kicking around on the aircraft.”

Surprises at CPAC: Straw Poll and Glenn Beck’s Chalkboard

The annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) 2010 was anything but conservative. Whenever I hear the term “conservative,” I think of boring, old-fashioned, old school, and cautious; none of which are any fun. Viewer ratings would definitely be on a downslide. However, when you add something like a popular chalkboard into the mix, things begin to get exciting.

Glenn Beck was invited to speak at this year’s event and his chalkboard got a standing ovation. It makes a statement when people are so exasperated and frustrated with politics and the economy that they treat a chalkboard as if it should have its own footprint out in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

A whole new fan club got started on Facebook:
Can Glenn Beck's Chalkboard Get More Fans Than Ann Coulter?

The ad-hoc straw poll that was taken at CPAC 2010 showed Ron Paul commanding 32% of the popularity vote, while Ann Coulter got a chip off the old straw. The one on her shoulder kept bashing Obama and MSNBC during her speech. Of course, everybody just chalked that off as sour grapes; someone, who would probably love a job at the White House. I believe she might even become one of those "liberals" for a shot at Janet Napolitano’s job at Homeland Security. She has an impressive 6,000 fans on Facebook. Not a bad percentage considering America is 309 million strong, with about 131 million voters. The odds are good that Glenn Beck's chalkboard can beat that.

There were two other surprise speakers this year: former Vice President Dick Cheney and Senator Scott Brown (R-MA); Mushroom syndrome and Cosmo.

According to The Washington Times there were roughly 10,000 people registered for the event. About 2,400 of them voted in the straw poll. “more than half of those who voted were under the age of twenty-five," the Times said. I take that as a good indication that our next generation is developing an interest in something other than Coors and Corvettes.

Tea Bags Bridge the Generation Gap

“Laugh a lot, and when you're older, all your wrinkles will be in the right places.”

“You know, Mel Brooks uttered the best political line I ever heard, ‘If Presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.’ That’s why we have political activists like teabaggers.” Uncle Harry said over a hot cup of tea.

Muffled giggles could be heard from the college students seated at the dinner table, but they laugh at everything, so we paid no attention.

At least four generations of our family were represented at the table: Aunt Millie, who is 85, too young to remember the original Boston Tea Party; Uncle Harry, who is in his late 70s; my husband and me; our oldest grandson, Johnny, who is just 19 years old, and his two college guests, Mike and Ben; and our straggler, Frack, who is only 12, and our notorious little prankster. Of course, the generation gap almost always causes communication chaos. Today, for some reason, it was worse.

You would think that communicating with the 12-year-old would be a challenge, but it isn’t. The 19-year-olds have their own language code. They still say things to each other like “Mahna Mahna” and sit there and laugh. Only they know what’s funny about that.

"Nanu nanu,” I said to my husband, “Pass the sodium chloride.”

He laughed; and the kids just sat there silently looking at each other.

“Labadt,” he said, as he handed me the salt shaker.

More silent stares from the kids.

“These teabaggers do have a point.” Harry said.

Giggles erupted from Johnny, Mike, and Ben. Frack was just grinning.

“What do you think, Millie?”

“Lookey here, Harry, I don’t want to be discussing politics. It ruins my appetite. Last year, they thought Obama was the cat’s pajamas, now they want to give him the 23 skiddoo. So, quit talk ‘in politics and pass the potatoes.”

“Well, this ain’t like the tea party you remember. Life was simpler back then, they just threw it overboard and that was the end of it. This is serious.”

“If you say one more thing to me about teabaggers, I’m going to have to hurt you.” She said.

The giggles were getting louder and Johnny’s face was all red.

“I think we should change the subject” my husband said. “Besides, that was taxation without representation; this tea party is about spending without any money. It’s a whole different concept. Why they use the term ‘teabagger’ is beyond me.”

Mike’s milk squirted out of his nose and the other boys were roaring. Frack was on the floor gasping for air.

“I don’t know what you're up to,” I said to them, “but if you keep it up you are eating the rest of your meal in the laundry room.”

“Tea, Aunt Millie?”

“Bruhahahaha” Johnny couldn’t control himself, and Frack was down for the count.

“That’s it! Get away from the table. I’m sorry this couldn’t have been a better time for you Mike and Ben; but obviously Johnny and Frack can’t behave today. All of you will have to eat in the other room.”

After dinner was over and the dishes were done, Millie and Harry left, and the boys turned on the TV in the family room. They had an extra day off from school, so I knew I wasn’t going to get any rest.

My husband was outside putting something away in the tool shed, when Frack tip-toed into the kitchen. I was sitting there with a glass of Chardonnay.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” I asked.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It wasn’t all our fault, though. I can’t tell you why, but if you look at my laptop, you’ll understand. Just wait till I go in the other room, OK?”

Sincerity was written all over his face; but, for some strange reason I got the feeling I was getting punked.

“OK” I said, half expecting to find a dead mouse on the keyboard.

Frack joined the others, and I got up and walked over to his laptop, which was on a small table in the nook, just off the kitchen.

In big yellow letters I saw “Urban Dictionary – teabagging.”

“OMG!” I blurted.

My husband walked in, took one look at the expression of horror on my face, and asked “What’s wrong?”

I pointed to the laptop saying almost incoherently “Mahna Mahna.”

How is it that we live in America, speak English, and can’t agree over the real definition of a simple tea bag?