Presidential Spider-Man Covers – Barack Obama “Nerd-in-Chief”

By the time President-elect Barack Obama takes the oath of office this month, he will simultaneously join a long list of politically correct U.S. Presidents, who have been featured on the cover of “Spider-Man” Comic Book, from Franklin D. Roosevelt to George W. Bush.

The January inaugural issue "Spidey meets the President!" features Obama as "nerd-in-chief," a superhero, who thwarts a plot by an imposter to take Obama’s presidency.

In a pre-release drawing, Spidey hangs upside down behind Obama whispering in his ear: "Hey, if you get to be on my cover, can I be on the dollar bill?"

Marvel Comics editor in chief, Joe Quesada, told reporters that the Obama campaign had listed 10 facts about our new little known president-elect and at the top of that list was the fact that Obama collected Spider-Man comics.

Excitement over the election of America’s first black president has spawned an inundation of Barack Obama memorabilia and the January issue of Spider-Man will probably become a highly sought after collector’s item.

Marvel Comics did not specify how many copies of the inaugural issue will be printed, but did indicate that it would be a higher print run than usual.

"I think one of the reasons why Obama would be a huge Spider-Man fan is probably because of the mantra by which he lives, ... that with great power there must also come great responsibility," Joe Quesada added.

Somehow, I knew that it would come to this. When I was growing up, our elders always had a high regard for authority figures, who admitted to reading Cooper, Dickens, Douglass, Milton, Shakespeare, and Verne, while we were reading Bugs Bunny and emulating Elmer Fudd. We were told that if we were to succeed in life, we must hone our oral and written communication skills and emulate the reading habits of those role models in authority. Never in my wildest imagination, did I think I’d be encouraging my grandchildren to put Emerson aside and become a Spidey follower, so they could run for president someday.



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The Great Lobster Liberation Movement

In this photo released by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, 'George,' a live 20 pound lobster rests on a plate at City Crab and Seafood in New York, Friday, Jan. 9, 2009.

When a customer spotted this 20 lb. lobster at City Crab and Seafood, a swank New York Park Avenue restaurant, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) was notified, and it petitioned the restaurant owners to set the lobster free.

PETA gauged the creature’s age at about 140 years old. City Crab and Seafood had named the crustacean mascot George, as everyone including the chef was attached to him. Not many people have seen such a large lobster.

You might think that the customer was acting only in the best interest of the beast, but it was priced at $27 a pound, making George unaffordable to most diners and I suppose one of them got ticked off.

Rather than be harassed by PETA and on the advice of its public relations manager, City Crab and Seafood decided to liberate the lobster. It will release it this weekend at Kennebunkport, Maine. That particular area forbids lobster trapping, so George can roam free to pick up girls and raise a new family.

"We applaud the folks at City Crab and Seafood for their compassionate decision to allow this noble old-timer to live out his days in freedom and peace," said Ingrid E. Newkirk, President of PETA.

Another PETA spokesman, Michael McGraw, said “there have been at least a half-dozen other lobster liberations in restaurants around the country.”


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Tips for the Skiing Impaired

No one likes to be embarrassed at a luxury ski resort, like this unfortunate gentleman, so I suggest that you brush up on your skills in the Poconos with close friends before accepting an invitation to Colorado’s Vail Blue Sky basin.

According to the Smoking Gun website, the man pictured above “was stuck in the undignified position for about 15 minutes before Vail personnel were able to back the lift up and rescue him.”

Of course, his son was with him when it happened, so this guy is going to have one tough time convincing his kid that dad knows best.

Tips:
• Make sure that the belt on your pants is tightly fastened in case you fall out of the lift.
• Ensure that the fold-down seat is in the correct raised position and not lowered.
• If you do fall, make sure that all those who are photographing the event get signed release forms, and you get compensated for exposing your butt, before putting your embarrassing moment on YouTube.

See also, How to Ski, Where to Ski, Learn to Ski, and Skiing Tips By Mike Doyle, About.com

This video contains another batch of potential hazards to avoid:



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Knut - Latest Victim of Celebrity Betrayal

Polar bear Knut eats his 'birthday cake' during his second birthday celebrations in his enclosure at the Berlin Zoo December 5, 2008.(Johannes Eisele/Reuters)

Knut, the celebrity polar bear that was nurtured and raised at the Berlin Zoo, after his mother rejected him at birth, has been betrayed by the son of his late keeper.

He now joins the ranks of Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan, Ireland Baldwin, Meg Ryan, Jennifer Aniston, and Drew Barrymore. All of whom have had “tell all” books written about them by close family members for money.

Knut did not suffer disloyalty because of a tabloid or a sleazy book detailing his sexual prowess or illicit romances with bears of the same or opposite sex. No DUIs or paternity suits have been filed, or cubs coming out of the woodwork to steal his thunder. No altercations with Paparazzi. He is not practicing Scientology or on steroids. Worse, his keeper and surrogate father’s personal property is being auctioned off on eBay.

Thomas Doerflein, Knut’s keeper, died suddenly last September. Now, his 18-year-old-son is capitalizing on Knut’s celebrity by auctioning off his father’s belongings. Among the Powerseller items are a sleeping bag, which the keeper slept in, while caring for Knut; a 10-year-old car; a belt; a book with a CD that Doerflein used to sing to Knut; a pocket knife; as well as other seller's miscellaneous items.

So far, the items brought $10,000, but Doerflein's former fiancée described the sale of his possessions as totally "tasteless."

Knut has generated millions of dollars for the Berlin Zoo within the last two years, but is expected to be evicted as soon as they can find another one that wants to take care of him.

Another child star with a thankless entourage.



Source: Yahoo News

Mutilated Monkey Meat - A Federal Offense

If you were born and raised in the Philadelphia area and move into other parts of the country, you often find yourself craving food found only in the place of your birth. There’s Philadelphia soft pretzels, cream cheese, scrapple, cheese steak sandwiches, hoagies, Lancaster Brand treats; and veal from lambs that were sledge hammered at the Italian market; not to mention imported cheeses and olive oil directly from southern Italy to the Philadelphia Food Distribution Center. Yummy!

Native Philadelphians perceive any other cravings as weird.

Apparently, New York Judges feel the same way. On Friday, U.S. District Judge Raymond J. Deanie rejected a plea by a Liberian woman’s lawyer that she smuggled mutilated monkey meat into NY to be consumed for religious and nostalgic reasons.

He didn’t appreciate the delicacy, as he grew up in Brooklyn, NY, and only remembered the “Smell My Feet” song that the kids in his neighborhood sang at Halloween and the association between "trick or treat" and "mutilated monkey meat."

Mamie Manneh, the defendant, can cook and eat fried primate parts, better than Emeril does Creole fried chicken.

She has been arrested and charged with smuggling the monkey meat into the country and will get deportation or five years in prison, if convicted. She should get a Presidential pardon.

No one knows whether she bought the stuff on eBay.

Why should American tax payers have to pay for five years worth of vegetarian meals, or a one-way ticket to Liberia, because this woman likes to eat monkey meat?

I personally believe that our country is so diverse, thanks to Lady Liberty, that it should be mandatory for all NY judges to take a class from Andrew Zimmern, the Food Network writer, chef, and teacher. Then, do something intelligent with our tax dollars.

How would Judge Deanie like to be arrested in Liberia for smuggling in an Original Nathan’s Coney Island hot dog?

Not to mention all the great Liberian restaurants we will never enjoy in the Big Apple, unless they change legislation and we can have FDA approved mutilated monkey meat.

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The $8 Million Ugly Car Auction

On February 7, 2009 there will be an exciting Bonham’s Retromobile auction and a 1937 Bugatti 57S will be among the cars represented. Dr. Harold Carr, bought the Bugatti 57S over 50 years ago as an investment, and it is expected to bring $8 million at auction – unrestored, but with pedigree papers.

Just the other day, I got an e-mail from a relative, who was lamenting over a depleted 401k.

“40 years ago, I should have been buying 1957 Chevrolet convertibles and extending the garage” he said. “I would have made money on my investments.”

“Yes,” I said, but it’s all guess work. “I used to have a 1984 white Buick Regal with T-tops that looked like an albino Grand National, but at least it was pretty. I held on to it for 20 years and only got $300. My original investment was $12,500. Who’s going to buy classic cars during a recession?”

Anyway, this auction is going to be interesting. I want to know who coughs up the $8 million for an ugly Bugatti needing a face lift. The thing was so ugly that the owner quit driving it after only 26,284 miles and stashed it in the garage. I don’t know many people, who could pick up a date in a car like that either. It has a face and body only a mother could love. You’d have to sneak it out of the garage in the middle of the night to go joy riding. If the police ever spotted it in broad daylight, you’d be profiled for sure. Either that, or they’d think you were recycling stolen automobile parts, like in the “Body Snatchers.”

You definitely wouldn't want it in your passport photo and just like a painting, if you stand and look at it from a distance, it makes you want to install "Moms Mabley" vanity plates and a Pigmeat bumper sticker.

I asked someone what the “S” stood for in 57S and was told either "surbaissé," which means lowered, or “sport.” Well, it’s not on the lower side of $8 million, so I guess it means sport. A bloke would have to be a sport to bid in this auction.

The modern Bugatti is much more appealing, yes?

New Year’s Resolutions in One Year - Out the Other

It’s that time of the year when we stop to reflect on our bad habits of the previous 12 months and strive to improve ourselves and our lives. I went surfing online to find the top 10 New Year’s resolutions for 2009, and just like the bubbles on bubble pack, I found a cornucopia of poppers:

1. Lose weight and get in better physical shape - This is the resolution that is broken most often after “quit smoking.” It is also fun to break this one by eating: candy, ice cream, chocolate, etc.; and sitting around the house like a slug. I recommend coming up with a plan and taping a picture of a 600 lb. person with lots of cellulite on your refrigerator as a deterrent.

2. Stick to a budget – This is an impossible resolution to keep, given the impulse purchase displays that you run into in every store on earth. At the supermarket, its candy, gum, tabloids with headlines you can’t resist, like “So and So’s Sordid Affair with the Babysitter” and club membership sale signs. At the car wash, its cranberry air freshener and audio books for the kids.

3. Debt reduction – This won’t work, unless you lick #2.

4. Enjoy more quality time with family and friends – This only works if your family and friends like each other, which is highly unlikely. So, you might have to have two or three monthly get-togethers with a fraction of each. After a few months, you will probably ditch everybody and go buy a cat.

5. Find my soul mate – Yes, if you also believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny; otherwise, just look for a compatible companion to have food fights with.

6. Quit smoking – You might live through this for about two-three weeks, and then you’re going to have to get hypnotized or something to keep from becoming a fly person, putting Silly Putty on the soles of your shoes, and climbing the walls.

7. Find a better job – Again, Yes, if you also believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny; otherwise, just look for a palatable one that pays more.

8. Learn something new – This one should be easy to master. Just gather up everyone in the family under the age of 10, who has an electronic toy. I recommend starting with a Wii game, although I know a person who ended up in the ER trying to bowl a good score.

9. Volunteer and help others – The only time you should volunteer for anything is if there is a good answer to “What’s in it for me?” Otherwise, this shouldn’t even be on the list, unless a cute guest from way out-of-town needs a date and, staying within budget, you’ve been itching to treat someone to a Mickey D’s.

10. Get organized – You will spend at least three weeks preparing to pull this one off, but then you will figure out a way to spend some quality time with family and friends and revert back to your old cluttering habits.