Taxes and Tea Parties

Someone tossed a box of Lipton tea bags at the White House yesterday to kick off our national Tea Party. All across America, in every town and city, tea party protests were being held on income tax day.

Americans are up in arms about the stimulus and taxes.

It was cold outside, so our local protest was being held at Salerno's Bar and Grill. All the kegs of beer were replaced with micro brew specialty teas and had theme signs, one of them read "It would be so nice if something made sense for a change," "Tut, tut, child! Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it" read another. Someone laced the kegs with gin, adding to the festivities.

All the old Woodstock crowd showed up and "Strawberry Fields Forever" was playing on the jukebox. A trio sat in the back singing a warped version of "If I Were a Carpenter," eluding to the fact that if you can't afford a house, you should build it yourself and declare a tax credit.

Salvatore Pasquale, a former accountant for the South Philly mob, set up a booth for people filing extensions or last-minute returns. His sign read "Stimulus 101: Screw the Government Here."

It got too cold and crowded at Salerno's, so me and a few of my friends popped in on Dan and found him helping his cat with a 1040 Schedule A.