Tampa Bay Rays in South Philly

After the World Series Game last night, the Tampa Bay Rays stopped at Mama Mia’s for a bite to eat. They have to eat somewhere, right? Well, they went to South Philly - another mistake!

The Phillies’ cheering section was in full swing, while Evan Longoria and Carlos Pena of the Rays were out kicking hub caps and looking for Mrs. Giordano to remove the "evil eye" for tonight’s game.

Mrs. Giordano is a well-known South Philly levatrice and moloch doctor. Her evil eye removal kit consists of a small bowl, water, and olive oil. When she's not working her magic, she sits and watches FoxNews and gives the evil eye to Bill O'Reilly. She bloviates in Italian "ou gatsa!" (Italian equivalent to the Numa Numa Guy).

Cliff Floyd, the Ray’s hitter, was wearing combat boots inside Mama Mia’s. He wanted an excuse to kick butt before returning to Tampa. “We don’t like getting embarrassed,” he said. “This was an embarrassment in the sense we’re in their park, their fans are getting on you and you don’t want to go out like that.”

Dioner Navarro, the Ray’s pitcher was practicing behind the counter tossing pizza dough while Longoria was swinging at it before it hit the floor. Outfielder, Carl Crawford, was at the ready, in case he missed. “My plan is to just keep swinging. You can’t go out there and think you’re coming out of a slump,” Longoria said. “I just have to stick with my routine.”

“What bothers me is we lose a couple of games, and people talk like we’ve got the worst team ever,” Floyd said. “This team is just going through a tough period. ... But we’ve been down before. We know we can come back.”

Manager Joe Maddon was over talking to Vito Salerno, who was making pizza. Joe was asking Vito to take it easy on Longoria.

Vito gave him the Arm ‘n Hammer sign.

"Hey Longo, giva some torque, we needa xtra-large ova here."

Just then, a feathery, green creature from the Galapagos Islands walked in and shook his booty. It was the Phillies Phanatic. He announced to everyone that he was there to knock the Rays off their game, but didn’t have to, he brought his own panino from Chickie's and left, laughing hysterically.