Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Preparation H… er, Proposition K

It has been reported in the media that the State of California is trying to legalize prostitution. It is already adding “Proposition K” to the November ballot.

Proposition K, would decriminalize the oldest profession. However, in reality, prostitution isn’t the oldest profession, motherhood is, followed by government, you know, the legalized mafia?

Legalizing the hooker industry will pose many more problems. For instance, will we all have to pay extra to our respective HMOs for penicillin? How about the elected officials, who will be charging the taxpayers for “Travel and Expense” to San Francisco?

I posed the question to some of my friends at the local coffee shop in South Philadelphia’s Italian market district:

“Hey, if they do that, Louie ‘the Creep’ will be out of business.” One of them said. “That’s discriminating against the small business establishment, you know?”

“Yeah, and what will Harry ‘the Hun’ do Friday nights?” another guy yelled out. “They’ll have half the precinct busy keeping him from accosting people on Washington Avenue, cause he don't want no receipt.”

Sammy the butcher stopped in for some cappuccino and overheard some of the conversation. “What my daughter has to get a real job?” he asked.

Mrs. Giordano was not amused and threatened to call in The Sons of Italy if they ever put that on the ballot in Pennsylvania.

Vito Salerno wanted to know why they called it “Proposition K” instead of “Preparation H”, because that’s what the politicians should really be using as lipstick. He also brought out a very interesting point about restitution funds:

“Madone, after they leta all a da criminals back ona street, we gonna have to pay froma 10 years ago.”

My cousin from New Jersey was visiting the area and when I asked him, he said "If it brings their rates down I'm for it."

Whata ya gonna do, ey?

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