Friday, August 20, 2010

Do We Really Need More Sex?

Sexologist and sexuality educator, Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., has been getting inquiries from guys asking how they can get more sex with their wives. I didn’t think they needed more than one shot and you’re good for the whole day, but what do I know?


I was intrigued by this perceived notion that they needed more, so I invited a few friends over for girl talk. Only two could spare the time to come over, Eileen and Helen. So, I made coffee, took a cake out of the freezer, printed out three copies of the article and set them on the table.

My friend Helen is married to an anal retentive housekeeper. Since he retired, he has taken charge. It’s a complete role reversal. She commands the lounge chair and the remote control and says things like “Hon, can you get me a beer?”

Eileen is in a second marriage with a guy, who is still paying alimony and child support for five kids. She has to work, but is off today. Rather than stay home and have sex, she decided to come over to see what all the fuss was about.

“Yo!” Helen said, while reading the article,“Take away the Ph.D and she is a dominatrix.”

“I’d let him grope, but I can’t afford it.” Eileen responded.

“Right!” I said, “Just what I thought. Most of these experts lead sheltered lives.”

I took a poll and also found out that none of us watch “Desperate Housewives” either, except for Helen’s husband Ralph. He even has the CD collection and often fantasizes while doing laundry.”

Just then the phone rang, it was Ralph looking for his wife. I could only hear half the conversation.

“What do you want?” Helen asked.

“So, toss some baking soda on it and put a lid on.”

“The fire extinguisher is in the hall closet.”

“Don’t cry, we can eat out, it’s OK”

“Yes you can use it on the cat’s tail. The snippers are in the top drawer.”

“I’ll be home in an hour. I want to ask you something.”

“Do you feel you are getting enough sex?”

“Never mind who’s listening.”

“No, you don’t have to strip and put on the tool belt.”

“I love YOU more.”

“No, I love YOU more.”


She hung up the phone and said “So what’s the big deal? He can get laid anytime he wants.”

“I’m waiting for 2012,” Eileen interjected.


Maryann Miller said...

LOL, that was so funny. Thanks for the chuckle.

Rose A. Valenta said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the story!