Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Mr. Burger’s Bushy Eyebrows
Si Burger, a retired 72-year-old jeweler from Bloomfield, IN, never shaved his eyebrows and they grew to be three inches long. Every morning, he diligently brushed them 100 strokes, but his friends and family wanted his eyebrows trimmed.
The eyebrows were not long enough to make Ripley’s Believe It or Not, but they did manage to get into the cocktail sauce at his local Rotary Club, irritating his friends; and occasionally into his windshield wipers, irritating his wife.
He couldn’t figure out why he kept getting fan mail for a Philadelphia news anchor named Joe Phipps. It turns out that Si only had Phipps by an inch on the brows.
The last straw for his wife was on a short vacation that they took to New York City. She chose to go to New York, because whenever they left Bloomfield, a town that had grown accustomed to his eyebrows, they could never enjoy themselves, as waiters kept hanging around their table with dog clippers and candle wax. One waitress offered Si a bobby pin to hold back his brows when he ordered the vichyssoise. Then, she even asked the couple if “The Shaggy Dog” was their favorite movie.
New York didn’t turn out any better, when Si’s eyebrows got caught in the escalator railing at Macys and the fire department had to be called to the scene.
Back in Bloomfield, the local Chamber of Commerce came up with a brilliant idea. Since Si has already donated $7,000 to PolioPlus over the last few years, they decided to charge people $100 each to clip his eyebrows for that charity. He could not resist raising money for his favorite charity and friends and family were champing at the bit to get rid of the brows. A total of $1,600 was raised for PolioPlus, as local businessmen joined the initiative.
After they shaved off his eyebrows, his wife said that he looked 20 years younger and bought a little something at Victoria’s Secret. With a broad smile, Si told reporters that he is not letting the brows grow back.