Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein were spotted on “orgy island” with eight old Salvation Army ladies from the Bronx. Ghostbusters tested and reported to TMZ that best-seller "The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven" is all Malarkey. Police arrested a drone from Mexico with six pounds of crystal meth after it crash landed under the weight. LA Fitness put up bail. The Pope told the faithful in the Philippines that whatever brings about world peace will likely be illegal, immoral or fattening. The BBC has announced that a new lamb gyro is taking off in the Philippines. It is called Pope in a Poncho. My inbox is getting flooded with ads that promise Viagra can cure deflated balls. Did you know that? The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists is in charge of the Doomsday Clock. Applewhite already tried that scare tactic. It’s only an asteroid, Dan! One of my greatest scientific discoveries as a father (the second oldest profession) was figuring out that utensils with peanut butter on them don't wash clean in the dishwasher. Greeks vote in an election that could lead to a showdown over bailout. Well, I guess that beats playing leap-frog. This actually happened: My friend Jody’s Shih Tzu was running with a Maltese three months ago and she gave birth to six puppies in the back of my closet. Their papers were stamped “illegitimate.”
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