These are the three winners of the Britain’s Got Talent Show. Diversity got the most votes, followed by favorite, Susan Boyle, and Julian Smith. All will have lucrative careers thanks to their fantastic performances.
Diversity spoofed the show in its act, incorporating the three red buttons that the judges use to vote people out. Susan belted out a much better rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream,” while Julian Smith performed a meticulous sax solo of “Somewhere” from West Side Story.
After the show, two runners up were up-chucking in the thames, while Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan were treated with mojitos and then released from The Black Friar Pub for being drunk and disorderly; Cowell was also loud and boisterously threatening to run for Prime Minister.
There was not enough staff at the local loony bin to lock up all the customers, who were dropping the "F" bomb over at the Friars club when Julian lost, so they were all fed a spot of French Roast and told to go home and sleep it off.
Piers was last seen running away from the police on his high-speed Segway PT Cruiser. Flames were shooting out the back and several Bobbies on bicycles suffered minor injuries. Stavros Flatley was frantically bringing up the rear: