Friday, March 13, 2009

Liposuction Fuels Fatmobile

Liposuctioning unsightly blubber out of self-indulgent patients may not give the impression of being a cream puff job, but it does have its perks. Free biodiesel is one of them.

Dr. Craig Alan Bittner, a plastic surgeon from Los Angeles, is using biodiesel that he manufactured from fat that he allegedly stole from patients during liposuction to fuel his SUV and his significant other’s Lincoln Navigator.

Anyone can make biodiesel for about 50 cents a gallon, but they can’t get celebrity testimonials like Dr. Bittner.

Among the famous celebrities that have paid big bucks for liposuction, not necessarily patients of Bittner, include: Halle Berry, Cher, Jamie Lee Curtis, Melanie Griffith, Janet Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, Bette Midler, Sharon Osbourne, and Britney Spears.

It is not clear who blew the whistle on Dr. Bittner, who saved about 10 cents a gallon for the biodiesel, using the free blubber. It is highly likely that someone resented the fact that the good doctor was riding down Sunset Boulevard on HER Buttocks.

Close inspection of Bittner’s SUV revealed a bumper sticker that read “"I'll Be Home - Courtesy of Mama Cass.”

Dr. Bittner is being investigated for using the illegal human blubber, but no charges have yet been filed.

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