Meet the Real Captain Underpants

BCB International, a British manufacturer, has developed a pair of men’s underpants that will protect your junk from terrorist attack.

President Obama wore a pair of them on his recent trip to Afghanistan.

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I was trying to figure out how BCB tested the bombproof boxer shorts in its R&D department, but they refused to comment. One spokesman, whose voice sounded very much like Andy Kaufman’s when he played Ladka in Taxi, said that he participated in the user acceptance testing. It is probably an indication that things did not run smoothly.

When you wear these “Blast Boxers,” not only will your junk be protected at airports and shopping malls, but you will be doing the girls a favor. They won't have to look at each other when you walk into a room, whispering "That guy, boxer or jockey?"

The shorts will make ideal gifts for guys in our military. Of course, the DoD has already purchased several thousand pairs, and as soon as they get the minor glitches out, they will be standard issue to our deployed troops.

"We believe they will make a real difference," said Andrew Howell of BCB International. "We managed to test all of our clothing on a group of Army volunteers, who were gracious enough to make this training video:"