Sunday, September 19, 2010

Will Lazlo Get the Aircraft Carrier?

© The JFK CV-67 Memorial Foundation, Inc., Roland Camilleri

The U.S. Navy wants to donate an aircraft carrier and my second cousin Lazlo is looking to get married as soon as he can afford a new home. So, he decided to write a letter to the Secretary of the Navy:

Read news article

Ray Mabus
United States Secretary of the Navy
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, DC 20500
September 19, 2010

Dear Ray,

I wasn’t sure if I should write to you at your home in Mississippi or catch you actually in the office at work.

I understand that you are giving away the aircraft carrier USS John F. Kennedy. You know, the one that Caroline christened in 1967?

She is 1,000 feet long and just the right size for Ella and I to live on and start a family.

Ella and I are having our commitment ceremony on October 12. Uncle Mario will be in attendance with his .300 Winchester Magnum, as he already caught us celebrating early in the barn.

Since me and Ella will be having a large family and I have been out of work since June, 2003; I figured that we could throw the anchor over three miles off the coast of Savannah, GA, and use Uncle Sal’s old dinghy to travel back and forth for food, lamp oil, and bait.

I will send you all the catfish you can eat, in exchange for your generosity, and provide transportation to Glenn Beck and Father Guido Sarducci for their “Restoring America” road trips to earn money for gas.

Very Truly Yours,


Maryann Miller said...

Love the letter. Did he actually send the letter? I hope so, and can't wait to hear the response, if any.

Rose A. Valenta said...

Hi Maryann,
I think he is waiting for Don Novello to mail it.

Thanks ;)

Nick Thomas said...

Father Guido Sarducci - now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. I figured he must have gone underground, given all the Catholic sex scandals in recent years. Fun letter.