Mark Souder: The Benny Hill of Indiana

In the wake of yet another scandal in American politics, Rep. Mark Souder of Indiana has admitted to an illicit affair and announced his resignation. Apparently, Souder, who is married with three grown children, allegedly found the girl of his dreams among his staffers and faced following in the footsteps Eric Massa, who’s case is now before the House Ethics Committee, unless he fessed up.

Previously, when the subject of his infidelity surfaced, Souder told everyone that the rumors were unfounded and blamed the vicious lies on “revenge politics.”

After getting caught, however, 60-year-old Souder made a statement to the press about his liaison with the loose woman in question. He said that he "sinned against God, my wife and my family by having a mutual relationship with a part-time member of my staff. I wish I could have been a better example. In this poisonous environment of Washington, D.C., any personal failing is seized upon, often twisted, for political gain. I am resigning rather than to put my family through that painful, drawn-out process.. We are a committed family but the error is mine and I should bear the responsibility. Not only am I thankful for a loving family but for a loving God."

Souder served eight terms in Indiana. He allegedly took up with the loose woman in 2004 and has suffered from Emerald Forest Syndrome ever since. His last day on the taxpayer’s money is Friday, May 21st. Insiders said that his part-timer asked him for a raise a few times, but he abstained. She is making less than minimum wage.

When Souder contacted senior House leaders to discuss his exit over the coming weekend, he was told to keep his shorts on.

Investigators, looking for incriminating evidence, found this video in his study labeled “My Hero:”

In the anals of Indiana history, Souder and Tracy Jackson discuss "abstinence:"