Election 2012: Just Give Us the 'Slug Report' on Congress

by Rose A. Valenta

Tighten up those pubococcygeus muscles, here we go again. Two phrases you will have nightmares about before the next election “Make no mistake” and let’s “Come together” to do something or other. Every time I hear “Come together”(common political rhetoric) it reminds me of an audience of taxpayers sitting there smiling and doing kegel exercises because that’s the only way they are all going to smile and say “YES!” together.

Obama is trying to raise $1 billion for his political campaign. I have to ask myself, why? After all, he keeps telling us to be frugal. Doesn’t he realize that a campaign plan for only $1 million would get him more votes than a $1 billion spending spree?

When you are already at the summit, Mr. President, why do you need to buy more mountain climbing equipment?

You could start with a fireside chat on YouTube announcing that since you are already the incumbent President, you don't really have to spend $1 billion for political exposure. We know you're there, we know you want it - now spare us the $999 million.

The only competition from the Republicans will be Newt and I just can't see the justification in spending a billion dollars to keep a salamander out of the White House.

The way I see it, Mr. President, bi-weekly fireside chats with status updates on all the work that has actually been accomplished on Capitol Hill is what’s needed. You know, a nice warm fire; you; Bo, the Portuguese Water Dog; and a Sony Bloggie to record the cozy conversation on YouTube. Some weeks you can give us the “Slug Report” on Congress, other weeks actual progress.

This is the “change” we have been waiting for - a frugal political campaign.

$1 billion dollars, Mr. President? Have you ever considered therapy for your compulsive spending addiction?